Muppet Fur Thong!

Muppet Fur Thong!

© Emily V (aka Coffeebra!)

 

Materials-

v      2 types of muppet fur.  I used Yarn Bee Luscious and Elf Eyelash

v      Size US10 (6.0mm) knitting needles

v      Size J/10 (6.0mm) crochet hook

v      Vodka Martini (or comparable alcoholic beverage)

 

 

Gauge – WTH?!  Who makes a gauge swatch for a fur thong??  If you must, I could guess it’s roughly  4 stitches and 4 rows make 1 inch square.

 

Size – Ladies S/M it stretches to fit! Bonus!  J

Techniques used:

v      Knit

v      Knit 2 together  (K2tog)

v      Make 1 (m1)

v      Basic crochet chain

v      One healthy dose of smartassery

 

Pattern:

Make Martini, then grab yarn…

 

Using both yarns together throughout, Cast on 20 stitches.

Take a sip of your martini

Rows 1 – 3: Knit

*Row 4 (and all even rows) – k1, k2tog, knit to last 3 stitches, k2tog, k1

Row 5 (and all odd rows) – Knit *

Repeat * - * until there are 6 stitches left

Knit 4 rows

Take another sip of martini

K1, k2tog, k2tog, k1 (4 stitches remain)

Knit 12 rows

Now k2tog so there is one stitch remaining.  Insert crochet hook and chain 15 (or amt needed to fit your body type)

Finish first martini, make another and take a sip. 

Hold up to your crotch area and see if it’s long enough.  Ask a friend to help or snap pics to post on flickr[1]

 

Switch back to knitting needles, and complete the back as follows:

Row 1 – k1, m1

Row 2 – Knit

Row 3 – k1, m1, k1, m1

Row 4 – Knit

Row 5 – k1, m1, k3, m1

Row 6 – Knit

Row 7 – K1, m1, k5, m1

Row 8 – Knit

Bind off.

Finish 2^nd martini, make 3^rd and take a sip.

 

Now make a slip stitch and insert crochet hook into the top right side of the front triangle, chain 25 (or amount needed for your body type, again it helps to hold up to yourself or ask a friend or passerby to help) and insert hook in top right of the back triangle slip stitch and bind off.  Repeat for left side.  Weave in ends.  Chug martini, put on the thong and surprise your loved one!

Free for personal use, please do not make these to sell.  If you do I might have to hunt you down and hit you with one of my muppet fur thongs.  It's a free pattern, so no need to get all piratey.  ;)

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[1] not responsible for possible drunkenness, hangover or pregnancy.  Also not responsible if pics of you in your muppet thong end up on flickr, google images or youtube.  That is a possible side effect if presenting thong to a sober partner.  Do not operate heavy machinery while knitting or drinking or without a license.