Who knew so many fiction books were about knitting?!

I just picked up another one yesterday.  Knitting Under the Influence

Looks like a book I'd read.  Hell, there is a martini glass on the front.  They had me at the cosmo!  

I have 2 other knitting/chick lit books I want to read:

Friday Night Knitting Club

The Knitting Circle

Know of any others to suggest?

Gauge... friend or foe?!

Why is it that when I use the fancy yarns, the yarns that cost more than a latte or two, the yarns that feel sooooooooo good, that don't fall in the "muppet" category, I somehow manage to screw stuff up?  

I bought this awesome crochet hat pattern and have been making cute brim hats for my kids and then for my best friends kids.  When I use cheap acrylic or bargain store cotton, they come out fine.  When I use "fancy-schmancy" yarn I always screw up and the hats are too small.  I check gauge, sorta.  I make notes of what yarn and hook combo makes what hat size, but nope, my not so nimble fingers always get nervous with the fancy yarn.  I'm so worried I'm gonna run out, mess it up, ruin it, that subconciously I think I make myself screw up.  Blah.  

Off to frog some dreamy berreco Pure Merino and pray it will work up again in the right size this time.  

Mama Needs a New Hat! - My Cable Hat Pattern

Inspired from many many a cable hat, I couldn't find one I love, especially one knit in the round, so I made my own. Enjoy!

Mama Needs a New Hat! ~ Cable Ski Cap

© Emily V (aka Coffeebra!)

Size: Womens – average.  (stretches to fit small/average/large)

 

Yarn – sport weight “3” 

Needle – US size 9, 16” circular needles, Cable needle and US size 9 DPNs

 

Gauge – 18 stitches, 24 rows 4x4 inches 

 

Stitch Glossary:

C4B – slip next 2 stitches on a cable needle and move to back of work, K2 then K2 from cable needle

C4F – slip next 2 stitches on a cable needle and move to front of work, K2 then K2 from cable needle

 

Cast on 80 stitches

Row 1-7:  K2, P2 rib

Row 8: K10, make 1 to end (you now have 88 stitches)

 

You can change to another color at this point if you wish

Cable

Row 1: Knit all stitches

Row 2: Knit

Row 3: C4B, K4 around

Row 4: Knit

Row 5: Knit

Row 6: Knit

Row 7: K4, C4F, around

Row 8: Knit

Repeat those 8 rows two more times, then rows 1-4 again at the end.

 

Decrease:

Row 1: K6, k2tog (77 stitches)

Row 2: K5, k2tog (66 stitches)

Row 3: Knit

Row 4: K4, K2tog (55)

Row 5: Knit

Row 6: Knit

Row 7: K3, K2tog (44)

Row 8: Knit

Row 9: K2, K2tog (33)

Row 10: Knit

Row 11: K1, K2tog (22)

Row 12: Knit

Row 13: K2tog (11)

Row 14: k2tog to end, K1 (6)

 

Break yarn leaving a 6 in tail, thread through remaining stitches and draw up tightly.  Fasten and weave in ends.  

Free for personal use, please do not make these to sell.  If you do I might have to hunt you down and hit you with one of my muppet fur thongs.  It's a free pattern, so no need to get all piratey.  ;)

Muppet Fur Thong!

Muppet Fur Thong!

© Emily V (aka Coffeebra!)

 

Materials-

v      2 types of muppet fur.  I used Yarn Bee Luscious and Elf Eyelash

v      Size US10 (6.0mm) knitting needles

v      Size J/10 (6.0mm) crochet hook

v      Vodka Martini (or comparable alcoholic beverage)

 

 

Gauge – WTH?!  Who makes a gauge swatch for a fur thong??  If you must, I could guess it’s roughly  4 stitches and 4 rows make 1 inch square.

 

Size – Ladies S/M it stretches to fit! Bonus!  J

Techniques used:

v      Knit

v      Knit 2 together  (K2tog)

v      Make 1 (m1)

v      Basic crochet chain

v      One healthy dose of smartassery

 

Pattern:

Make Martini, then grab yarn…

 

Using both yarns together throughout, Cast on 20 stitches.

Take a sip of your martini

Rows 1 – 3: Knit

*Row 4 (and all even rows) – k1, k2tog, knit to last 3 stitches, k2tog, k1

Row 5 (and all odd rows) – Knit *

Repeat * - * until there are 6 stitches left

Knit 4 rows

Take another sip of martini

K1, k2tog, k2tog, k1 (4 stitches remain)

Knit 12 rows

Now k2tog so there is one stitch remaining.  Insert crochet hook and chain 15 (or amt needed to fit your body type)

Finish first martini, make another and take a sip. 

Hold up to your crotch area and see if it’s long enough.  Ask a friend to help or snap pics to post on flickr[1]

 

Switch back to knitting needles, and complete the back as follows:

Row 1 – k1, m1

Row 2 – Knit

Row 3 – k1, m1, k1, m1

Row 4 – Knit

Row 5 – k1, m1, k3, m1

Row 6 – Knit

Row 7 – K1, m1, k5, m1

Row 8 – Knit

Bind off.

Finish 2^nd martini, make 3^rd and take a sip.

 

Now make a slip stitch and insert crochet hook into the top right side of the front triangle, chain 25 (or amount needed for your body type, again it helps to hold up to yourself or ask a friend or passerby to help) and insert hook in top right of the back triangle slip stitch and bind off.  Repeat for left side.  Weave in ends.  Chug martini, put on the thong and surprise your loved one!

Free for personal use, please do not make these to sell.  If you do I might have to hunt you down and hit you with one of my muppet fur thongs.  It's a free pattern, so no need to get all piratey.  ;)

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[1] not responsible for possible drunkenness, hangover or pregnancy.  Also not responsible if pics of you in your muppet thong end up on flickr, google images or youtube.  That is a possible side effect if presenting thong to a sober partner.  Do not operate heavy machinery while knitting or drinking or without a license.