

Knitting & more from a Smartass Yarn Ho

Felted Lightsaber ~ baby size
May the Felt be with you…
© Emily V (aka Coffeebra!)
Yarn:
Feltable wool. I used Patons Classic Merino in gray and leaf green.
Size 11 DPNs
Cotton batting/stuffing
Gauge – to be honest I didn’t bother with it.
Cast on 15 stitches in Gray wool and distribute evenly amongst 3 DPNs. Using the 4th DPN, knit approx 20 rounds. Switch to the Green.
Knit 15 rounds
Next round: *k2tog, k3, repeat * to end (12 stitches)
Knit 15 rounds
Next round: *k2tog, k2, repeat * to end (9 stitches)
Knit 9 rounds
Next round: knit 3, k2tog, knit 4 (8 stitches)
Knit 5 rounds
Next round: k2tog, knit 2, k2tog knit 2 (6 stitches)
Knit a couple more rounds
Next round: k2tog all stitches (3 remain) and leave a 6 inch tail. Draw through remaining stitches and weave in the ends, leaving the bottom (cast on edge) open.
Stuff with batting/cotton and seam the open edge closed. Felt as you normally would. (I have a front loader so I use 1 capful of Charlie’s detergent and put project in a pillow case. I throw in a towel or pair of jeans and do a “speed wash” with an extra fast spin)
Shape the felted project and lay to dry. Felt a second time if needed.
You may add decorations, sew on buttons and such for an older child. My proect was for a 6 month old, so I left off all adornments.
This projects, if knit in all brown with a red tip can also be made as a Harry Potter or sorcerers wand.


Also will need a stiff brim of sorts. You can make one out of
plastic canvas or thick cardboard. I used the brim from a cheapie hat I bought. (if you are making your own brim, the measurements I used were 6inches across, 1.25 inches wide and a slight curve. You can take a 2 inch thick piece of material (whichever you have chosen) and make sure when you draw a pattern that there is a slight curve but that the brim material doesn't exceed being 1.25 inches wide at the thickest part. Also, if you wrap the plastic canvas in duct-tape, it provides a much easier glide and more stability.
Gauge – 20 stitches, 28 rows 4x4 inches
Cast on 72 stitches. Place marker and join in a round, being careful not to twist. Work in k2p2 ribbing for 16 rounds, or until piece measures 2 inches.
Fold brim to inside and prepare to join to current round to form casing. Insert left-hand needle into first st from the cast-on round, then k2tog with first st of current round. *Insert left-hand needle into next st from cast-on round, then k2tog with next st of current round; rep from * to approx halfway across round. At this point, insert your plastic brim so that half of it is inside your casing and half is out. Continue to form casing, pulling the knit brim up on top of the plastic brim and encasing the plastic brim as you work. The casing should fit snugly around the plastic brim.
Once you have joined the entire brim around, knit all stitches for approx 5 inches. You can join a new color to make stripes. In the hat pictured I did 8 rounds of the main color (MC) and then 3 rounds of the contrasting color (CC), then 3 rounds of MC and 2 rounds of CC and finished the hat in MC. (note: where the plastic brim is the widest, the stitches will be tight to maneuver for a couple of rounds. Just try to knit a little looser in that area to help ease things fro the next roound.)
Begin decreasing the hat with the following pattern…
Decreases (changed 1/17/08 for better shaping):
Row 1: K6, k2tog (63 stitches)
Row 2: K5, k2tog (54 stitches)
Row 3: K4, K2tog (45)
Row 4: Knit
Row 5: Knit
Row 6: K3, K2tog (36)
Row 7: Knit
Row 8: Knit
Row 9:
Row 10: Knit
Row 11: K1, K2tog (18)
Row 12: Knit
Row 13: K2tog (9)

© Emily V (aka Coffeebra!)
Size: Womens – average. (stretches to fit small/average/large)
Yarn – sport weight “3”
Needle –
Gauge – 18 stitches, 24 rows 4x4 inches
Stitch Glossary:
C4B – slip next 2 stitches on a cable needle and move to back of work, K2 then
C4F – slip next 2 stitches on a cable needle and move to front of work, K2 then
Cast on 80 stitches
Row 1-7:
Row 8: K10, make 1 to end (you now have 88 stitches)
You can change to another color at this point if you wish
Cable
Row 1: Knit all stitches
Row 2: Knit
Row 3: C4B, K4 around
Row 4: Knit
Row 5: Knit
Row 6: Knit
Row 7: K4, C4F, around
Row 8: Knit
Repeat those 8 rows two more times, then rows 1-4 again at the end.
Decrease:
Row 1: K6, k2tog (77 stitches)
Row 2: K5, k2tog (66 stitches)
Row 3: Knit
Row 4: K4, K2tog (55)
Row 5: Knit
Row 6: Knit
Row 7: K3, K2tog (44)
Row 8: Knit
Row 9:
Row 10: Knit
Row 11: K1, K2tog (22)
Row 12: Knit
Row 13: K2tog (11)
Row 14: k2tog to end, K1 (6)
Break yarn leaving a 6 in tail, thread through remaining stitches and draw up tightly. Fasten and weave in ends.
Free for personal use, please do not make these to sell. If you do I might have to hunt you down and hit you with one of my muppet fur thongs. It's a free pattern, so no need to get all piratey. ;)
Muppet Fur Thong!
© Emily V (aka Coffeebra!)
Materials-
v 2 types of muppet fur. I used Yarn Bee Luscious and Elf Eyelash
v Size US10 (6.0mm) knitting needles
v Size J/10 (6.0mm) crochet hook
v Vodka Martini (or comparable alcoholic beverage)
Gauge – WTH?! Who makes a gauge swatch for a fur thong?? If you must, I could guess it’s roughly 4 stitches and 4 rows make 1 inch square.
Size – Ladies S/M it stretches to fit! Bonus! J
Techniques used:
v Knit
v Knit 2 together (K2tog)
v Make 1 (m1)
v Basic crochet chain
v One healthy dose of smartassery
Pattern:
Make Martini, then grab yarn…
Using both yarns together throughout, Cast on 20 stitches.
Take a sip of your martini
Rows 1 – 3: Knit
*Row 4 (and all even rows) – k1, k2tog, knit to last 3 stitches, k2tog, k1
Row 5 (and all odd rows) – Knit *
Repeat * - * until there are 6 stitches left
Knit 4 rows
Take another sip of martini
K1, k2tog, k2tog, k1 (4 stitches remain)
Knit 12 rows
Now k2tog so there is one stitch remaining. Insert crochet hook and chain 15 (or amt needed to fit your body type)
Finish first martini, make another and take a sip.
Hold up to your crotch area and see if it’s long enough. Ask a friend to help or snap pics to post on flickr[1]
Switch back to knitting needles, and complete the back as follows:
Row 1 – k1, m1
Row 2 – Knit
Row 3 – k1, m1, k1, m1
Row 4 – Knit
Row 5 – k1, m1, k3, m1
Row 6 – Knit
Row 7 – K1, m1, k5, m1
Row 8 – Knit
Bind off.
Finish 2nd martini, make 3rd and take a sip.
Now make a slip stitch and insert crochet hook into the top right side of the front triangle, chain 25 (or amount needed for your body type, again it helps to hold up to yourself or ask a friend or passerby to help) and insert hook in top right of the back triangle slip stitch and bind off. Repeat for left side. Weave in ends. Chug martini, put on the thong and surprise your loved one!
[1] not responsible for possible drunkenness, hangover or pregnancy. Also not responsible if pics of you in your muppet thong end up on flickr, google images or youtube. That is a possible side effect if presenting thong to a sober partner. Do not operate heavy machinery while knitting or drinking or without a license.